Just Your Basic Farm Wife

I have people all the time call me "Little Susie Homemaker", "Domestic Goddess", "Martha Stewart".

I ALWAYS laugh these off, because I know I am very, very, VERY far from all of those. 

Let's take a look at my fails from the past two weeks: 

1. I accidentally made wine from what I thought was peach jam. I don't really know how it happened, but it happened. It was so potent that my chickens couldn't even eat it. It separated in the jar into like three sections????? Yeah. No joke. And when I opened it to just pour it out, ugh. It smelled RANK.

2. The next fail on the list is potato chips. Who knew you had to blanch those things before putting them in a dehydrator? Definitely not me! Haha! So, I worked hard. Like, cut each potato chip into a beautifully thin chip. Seasoned each one like a pro. Sniff, sniff. Oh, these things are going to be awesome. Ha! Jokes on me. Kevin tried one at 12:00 a.m. (About seven hours in) and he goes, "Eh. I don't really like those. I don't think we did them right." So I went to bed with hopes that it would be better in the morning, they were still potato-y if that's even a word, so I said it'll be okay. WHEN I WOKE UP, THEY HAD TURNED BLACK. Straight up looked molded. Five minutes on Google told me that we should've blanched them. 

3. Tried it again, the same process, add in blanching. I even followed a recipe! Still nasty. Decided potatoes and dehydrators don't mix.

4. For number four, flashback to my bacon fail where the bacon stuck to the pan and I couldn't even get them off without the farmer's help! LOL! 

5. Here's the best one. I thought I would be blogging to y'all as a single woman after today. So we have a freezer for our meat. I go get what we want for supper, thaw it out, cook it, done. Well, yesterday apparently, I forgot to shut the door. YEP. So today I am washing my sweaters and the clothes I had on the floor (Leave me alone, I'm also a little bit of a slob) they were wet. So I'm like oh no. Those dogs done peed on the clothes so I sniff it. It's not pee. Then after some investigating, I realize that the freezer door is open. I started to freak out. FREAK OUT. I called at least four people to verify if the meat would be okay and if I should just shut the door and pretend it never happened. My mom guilted me into telling the farmer. So I called crying telling him my big boo-boo. Note: All our meat was defrosted to some extent. Some in the bottom were still vaguely frozen but that's all. So there I am a crying mess, and I start meal prepping. MEAL PREPPING?????? I am cooking this meat as hard as I can when I see him pull up. He comes in, looks over the meat, laughs and hugs me. Tells me it could've happened to anybody and then leaves to go back to the fields. Thank God though, the meat was fine. I am not divorced and we are going to continue to have food. LOL That was pretty stressful though. 

So, yeah. I am no Susie Homemaker, no domestic goddess, no Martha Stewart, just a regular farmer's wife trying to keep afloat in this crazy world. But if you don't laugh at your mistakes, you'll cry and no one likes to see an ugly crier like myself.